Maybe "Beauty" Isn't What I Think It Is...

If you're new to reading my blog, thank you for taking the time to click on the link and take a little peek. Let me get you caught up on what this whole "Redefining Beauty" thing is all about.

My name is Kelsey. I'm 12 days shy of turning 28 years old and I grew up in a small town in western Washington. I'm a recovered bulimic and exercise-addict, ex-cutter and substance-abuser. I'm really just a normal-kind-of-girl with a goal to help people live free from eating disorders and body image issues. They say tough situations make you stronger and more able to help others. Whoever "they" is, I think they're right.

Re: Defining Beautyful You is the result of, somewhat random, thoughts, ideas, and dreams mostly on the topic of beauty, body image, and related topics. I utilizing the creativity behind writing as a coping mechanism while in recovering from the eating disorder and it quickly became a part of me. I suppose it's a hobby slash passion slash lifestyle all jumbled together. I am on a quest to challenge our societal viewpoint of beauty, femininity, womanhood, and attractiveness.

This blog is my canvas of vulnerability, raw truth, and touchy topics that many people don't really talk about. Body image issues and eating disorders are super prevalent in the U.S. Literally, last I read, over 75% of women struggle with food. It's insane.

Anyway, there's your snippet of what this is all about.

Finley, the best baby EVER.

So, I'm an auntie now. Or, rather, my sister gave birth to the most awesome, amazing, incredible, beautiful, smart, strong baby girl in the whole world just a mere 11 days ago. I'm not biased whatsoever. I swear. She really is that colossally spectacular. See for yourself...

Ok, I admit, I am a teeny bit fond of her.

But, in all seriousness, God has used my sister's pregnancy and Finley's little life to open my eyes to another perspective of beauty and provide a new appreciation for what the female body can endure and support.

The Beauty I've Witnessed in the Past 10 Months Regarding this Little Jewel:

1. My sister's ever changing body doing exactly what it needed to do to keep Finley alive and provide everything her little body needed to grow from a tiny little cell-sized little-bit into this incredible mini-human.

2. John and Kristen's dedication to create an amazing space in which Finley will grow up. Their home is family-centered, welcoming, and open to visitors. Finley's nursery was lovingly breathed-into-existence (figuratively speaking, mind you) with a ton of planning and hard work by both my brother-in-law and sister.

3. The way each of their three dogs animatedly approved of Baby Finley the very first day they met her.

4. John and Kristen's excitement toward each other as they brought this little life into the world.

5. John's servant-heart toward his girls. He seriously loves on them so well.

6. Kristen's interest in and commitment to providing the best for her baby by eating well, taking tons of breast milk generating supplements, and budgeting toxin free soaps, shampoos, etc. for their little one.

7. John and Kristen's tenacity to figure out this parenting thing.

As I watch the two of them join together as a team to learn how to best care for Finley, it's evident that beauty lies within the details and small pleasures of the ins-and-outs of being a parent. In no way am I saying parenting is glamorous. But witnessing John and Kristen take this on like champs absolutely distracts me from any hint of self-doubt, body image issue, or confidence issue. It's a bigger story that puts life into perspective. So, thank you, John and Kristen, for representing beauty at it's finest.

Live fully, love wholly, rejoice daily.
xoxo
KC

To the Guy Who Broke My Heart, Thank You.

Hey,

Thank you.

Because of you I am more bold and more wise. It is not because you treated me so well. No, in fact, quite the opposite. You played games and tried to get me to earn your attention and your affection. You set unattainable standards of perfection and shamed me when I did not meet your expectations. You tried to tell me I was unworthy, unlovable, ungrateful, unwilling to compromise. In actuality, I was compromising. Compromising all I was and all I dreamed of becoming.

The craziest part of all is not that you treated me so poorly, but that I began to believe I deserved to be disrespected and dishonored. I forgot who I was and who I represented. A far greater entity than you.

But, in your own hurt and brokenness, you tried to break me. So, I thank you.

Thank you for being the straw that broke the camels back. I'm not one for cliches, you know that, but you are that piece of straw. You were the last of countless men who will get away with devaluing me and tearing me down. Because of everything we went through, I emerged better. More brilliant. More sparkly than ever. It's amazing, really. Like the refining fire, the pain I endured while we were together actually exposed someone more radiant and resilient. Delicate, not fragile. Grounded, not settled. I thank you for your part in my journey to become this woman.

I am not angry. Not anymore. And, I do not hate you. Rather, I hope you, too, can reach a point of thankfulness for the lessons learned. May forgiveness set you free from the torment and burden of holding onto hatred. May you look back on our time together and see growth in yourself.

Until then, good-bye. I put away all disdain, doubt, and mistrust and eagerly pursue my next dazzling adventure.

Sincerely,
Kelsey

Hot Mess Status

Today was a hot mess day. I did not intend to portray the I-didn't-really-try-this-morning look. But it happened. My ensemble, hair, and make-up screamed, "I don't really care right now, so shut up and move along with your own freakin' business!" I just had better things to do this morning than stand in front of the mirror flat ironing, tweezing, and bronzing. And it definitely ended up being a hot mess kind of day.

No, I did not wear this mess today.

But I am far from shocked. As I take a stand for natural beauty and advocate for health versus society's jacked-up standards of femininity, beauty, and womanhood, it is easy to speak out when I feel beautiful and loved and valued. But in those times when I'm just feeling...like a hot mess...pursuing things of substance and meaning are far less appealing as whatever it is I need to do to feel less of a hot mess. It is on those hot mess days that I am far less apt to encourage my fellow females to embrace themselves as-is and embark on adventure.

After deciding to leave my make-up as-is and only tie back my hair in order to look a little more socially acceptable, as I was meeting a new client today, my final, and most reasonable, option was to blog about it. I mean, millions of people are putting their business on Facebook.

So, ladies, we all have hot mess days. Life, itself, is a hot mess sometimes. Today, I encourage you to embrace that messy self. Frazzled and needing rest. Wrinkled clothes and greasy hair. Whatever your hot mess is, it's yours. So, sister, keep rockin' what you got. Tomorrow will be fabulous. Just wait and see!

Live fully, love wholly, rejoice daily.
xoxo
KC