Weird and Scary

Practicing vulnerability is weird and scary. It is weird because it is uncommon. Most people do not know what to do with vulnerability. Those invited into the inmost details of my life may, or may not, treasure the truths that make me me. And, typically, I am not the inviter. God has a way of poking and prodding and nudging until I succumb and share openly because the feeling is too unbearable. Not to mention, this uncomfortable whisper from God is an invitation to join what He is doing to change lives and love on His beloved and I do not want to miss out on His invitations to do Kingdom business. 

I suppose that is why vulnerability is scary, too. First, I do not choose who is invited beneath my timid exterior into the intimate details of my life and past. Secondly, I typically feel rejected when my treasured secrets are exposed and not valued. 

I am a Seattle girl, so a picture of a cup of coffee will, without question, catch my eye and make it on my blog.
Plus, Brené Brown is amazing. Period. 

Brené Brown is one of my all-time favorite authors. Partly because her writing helped me grasp the value of vulnerability and partly because she is real and says bad words. I can relate to her. Sometimes, when I am upset, I get out my Macbook, open a new Word document, and type every mean, cynical, curse-wordy thought that comes to mind. Then I close the document without saving and move on. It is a product of my hurting heart and relieves some of the pain. There I go being all vulnerable again. 

Brené curses and writes about embracing who you really, really, really are meant to be. I started feeling more comfortable with my decision to type all kinds of icky curse-wordy things after listening six or seven times to her TED Talk about vulnerability and reading her book, Daring Greatly. God probably did not make me to be a curse-wordy woman and I may change my ways someday. But, for now, it works for me. 

Back to vulnerability being weird and scary. Apparently, vulnerability and being known are the source of authentic humanness and wholehearted living. (Insert subliminal message here...read Daring Greatly by Brené Brown). I would concur with the above statement. Considering my top-ten-most-meaningful-life-moments-thus-far, vulnerability and authenticity are the roots of memorable and life-changing experiences. 

I was a senior in college the day I decided to be open about having an eating disorder. I opened my mouth and words came out. I do not remember what I said, but the girl I was speaking to responded with, me too. 

Whaaat?!?! You really are going to use this awful, life-sucking journey for good, aren't you, God?! 

My me too college friend got help for her eating disorder. Today, she is healthy. She is married to a man who loves Jesus. She had a baby. I like to think the moment of vulnerability and openness was a risk I was invited by God to take to play a part in His story for her life. By no means am I taking any credit for it. Ohhh, heck no! I am just grateful. God called me onto his team. We did not have a play book or time to practice, but we played hard. Vulnerability and love win. End of story. 

Live wholly, love fully, rejoice daily. 

Kelsey

Click here for direct link to Brené Brown's TED Talk on Vulnerability