Magical Moments to Refocus and Get Grounded Again. And Again.

There is something magical about quiet moments in a Florida air-conditioned Starbucks. A hot, dark cup of Pike (you Starbucks people know exactly what I'm talking about), and a divine moment with God. You know, God, the Maker of the Universe. The Creator of all, Heavenly Father, Alpha and Omega, and Perfect Friend. 

Magic in the making.

Before you critique me for mentioning "magic" and God in the same paragraph, quietly reach down and pick that wad of underwear out from your butt crack. I have run into so many people claiming Christianity who are so quick to critique people because they don't care to try to understand another human being on the face of the planet and forget the true mission of Jesus: Love God and love people (Matthew 22:37-39). In no way am I insinuating that God does medicine-man-witchcraft-magic. To some of us who love unicorns and all things that sparkle, the term magic has nothing to do with sorcery or even Harry Potter himself. 

Alright, moving on. 
Back to the magic of the above stated equation.

Starbucks' air conditioning + black coffee + quiet moments with God = magic 

It is in these moments when I am brought back to earth. When my ungodly unattainable expectations for myself are brought back into reality. When I begin to see how far off I have been. When I return my focus to I AM. 

But Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to Bnei-Yisrael and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is His Name?’ What should I say to them?”

God answered Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” Then He said, “You are to say toBnei-Yisrael, ‘I AM’ has sent me to you.” 

God also said to Moses: “You are to say to Bnei-Yisrael, Adonai, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, has sent me to you. This is My Name forever, and the Name by which I should be remembered from generation to generation.

Exodus 3:13-15

Jesus even declared he is, "I AM." 

John 8

I AM WHO I AM. 

Seems so simple. And complex. Simultaneously. That's the trinity for you! Everything and all things and intricate and beautifully simplistic all jumbled up together at one time with perfect organization. And sprinkles on top. 

As I graciously bask in my magical moment with God at Starbucks in the air conditioning, sipping my coffee, I am absolutely bewildered that I would even consider taking my gaze off something so magnificent, so amazing, so...(ahhhhhh there are no words to describe him)! But I totes do. All the time. 

Insert positive self talk: Give yourself grace, Kelsey. You won't get it right all the time.

End positive self talk.

I'm practicing positive self-talk, so better utilize every opportunity, right?! 

The reality is, there is an enemy who wants to distract us from being so crazy in love with Jesus that we worship whatever else. Satan wants to have God's spot (Isaiah 14:13-14). I see those distractions in my life. It comes mostly in perfectionism and people-pleasing. 

Having been an avid athlete and finding my happy place in CrossFit nearly three years ago, I have definitely prioritized weight-lifting, diet, my physique, WODs, workout clothes, and more before God. As if "perfecting" my lifts or looking "perfect" will fulfill everything in my life. I love CrossFit. I love fitness. I really do. But, I have to assess if my actions show that I love God more or the gym more. Ouch. Sometimes I wonder when enough will be enough. If it's not residual issues from the eating disorder that used to control my every thought and action, it's the distortion of something good. I make fitness my idol. 

But, then, I'll experience a magical moment with God (not always at Starbucks) and reality will come crashing down again. Realizing I have placed myself on the throne and lost focus of my Creator. Again. 

But, even there, I could get discouraged that I have failed yet again. But, no, not this time satan. You lousy dude. 

See how this can spiral out of control? 

Where do lies and distractions get you down? How are you falling into the trap of idolizing anything other than the Creator God, Adonai himself?

The things that matter most.

May I encourage you to be aware. Sit still. At Starbucks, or not. Drink coffee, or not. Be where you need to be to hear the silence. Seek God's voice. This will entail turning your phone off and logging out of Facebook. Schedule this magical time if you have to. It's more than worth it. 

As I begin to end this blog post, I am inspired and motivated to reprioritize life. God. Family. Friends. Loving people. Doing good. Less obsessing about the worries of the world. Less counting macronutrients in pursuit of a perfect physique. More enjoying life. More of what God has intended. Freedom and peace. 

Live fully, love wholly, rejoice daily, 

Kels

xoxo

Vivacious Living: Turning Away from the Problematic Distractions and Pursuing Life Boldly

I recently updated the layout, background, and template of my blog. It was not an intentionally planned change, but it happened. And it made me smile. The new layout is bright, cheery, and easily navigated. If you'd visited my blog in the past, it was fine...but just not easy to read or inviting, for that matter.

I started my blog as individualistic expression. I had been in outpatient treatment for an eating disorder while a student at Washington State University and working part time and I just needed a blank canvas for my thoughts, ideas, and worries. The more transparent I was about the inner battle I daily fought, the less power it had over me. Since, the blog is still a canvas for thoughts, ideas, and, even worries (See a past post titled, I Fear Being the Fat Trainer.)

The direction for my blog has changed. Originally, I was on a quest to help all women truly believe they were beautiful. I thought if we all knew we were lovely and beautiful we would be healed of our issues and be more confident. Since, I've learned that beauty is not what makes the world go round. (Who would have thought?!) Believing I'm beautiful does not elevate my confidence or spark a fire in my bones to make the world a better place. Believing I'm beautiful does not make me interesting, alluring, a better mentor, or a better person. It doesn't make me more skilled at my trade or more zealous to help those in need.

Believing I'm beautiful ended up becoming a band-aid covering a festering wound. I gave my allegiance to superficiality and objectivity. An "ugly day" totally threw off my mojo and sent me into depression. Maybe you can relate.

Vivacious, bold, radical living had to become my new pursuit if I was going to continue to win the battle over the eating disorder and other mental health related issues. What characterizes a vivacious, bold, radical woman?

Vivacious, bold, radical 

living had to become my new pursuit

A vivaciously bold, radically living woman is:
Funny- she has a sense of humor and she is secure enough to laugh at herself.

Respectable- she knows her body is hers and for her husband (or future husband). She does not gossip. She does not seek attention.

Generous- she uses her God-given resources to better the lives of others. Her time is not her own. She gives back to her community without blowing up her social media accounts to brag about her good deeds.

Focused- she has goals. But more importantly, she dreams. And then she pursues those dreams. She is focused on the here and now, living every day to its fullest, but she is focused on the future and makes choices to positively impact her future.

Thoughtful- she does her best to remember friends' birthdays, give words of encouragement, and think of others first. She genuinely wants the best for all people, even those who have wronged her.

Confident- she may be called weird or strange. She may be odd. But, she is living out who her Creator made her to be and she legitimately does not care what you think. Sorry, not sorry. She walks in freedom knowing she was made very good by a very good God (check out Genesis 1:1-31).

Open-minded- she is willing to learn from others and, even, change her perspective based on others' influence. She avoids religiosity and close-minded prejudices. She stands for what she believes, but loves all people, regardless of their choices.

Your focus may not be body image, beauty, or food issues. It may be a whole plethora of problematic distractions that inhibit you from vivacious living. But do not let it steal your joy. Do not let it become your god. Establish what are the non-negotiables in your life and pursue those with purpose and passion.

Live wholly, love fully, rejoice daily.
Kels
xoxo

When You Do, Sometimes You Don't

I have always been a “doer” and a “busy-bee.” I try to do it all. Rest? Who needs it when you can meet friends for coffee dates, coach youth athletics, serve at church, cover extra shifts at work, and prepare meals for sick friends?

On the surface, these things appear righteous and respectable. But, when the motive of the doer is analyzed, a thoughtful gesture or favor may be more self-gratifying in nature. Often times, the insecure thought pattern behind the over-committed individual is “I do, therefore I am. If I do (insert good/moral thing here), I must be good/moral.

God created each of us with passions and skills and He has a plan to use those qualities of our character. We learn this in Ephesians 2:10. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” We can busy ourselves doing good things, but still be out of His will.

Getting caught up in doing the right thing, being in the right place, volunteering for too many extracurricular activities can and has distracted me from knowing God more. If you want to recognize and know the voice of God, you must devote time and effort to cultivate a love relationship with Him.

Is it wrong for a person to volunteer at a local food bank? No, not if that is where God has called the individual to serve. Am I sinning when I meet up with a friend for a coffee date, with the mindset of nurturing our relationship? Absolutely not! But, I must question my motives. Is my goal to serve my friend and love on them, or am I avoiding the loneliness I often feel when I am at my house by myself before my roommates get off work when I know I should be studying the Word or writing?

This is not as much an issue of procrastination as it is avoidance of truth and evasion of pain. And it is draining! Oswald Chambers said, “It is impossible to get exhausted in work for God. We get exhausted because we try to do God’s work in our own way.” Though I do, I don’t. I don’t prioritize time to cultivate my love relationship with the Lord. I don’t pursue the passion He has intricately woven into my being. I don’t serve in the capacity He calls. So, though I am doing and am utterly consumed with mostly good things, I don’t do what I have been created to do.

Where can you simplify your schedule? How can you prioritize time to do those things God is leading you to do? I encourage you to track your week. In hourly (or half hourly) increments, write the activities, service, hobbies, down time, etc. How often do you pursue those things that bring you joy? Are you living with the purpose God has planned?

For a little inspiration, check out:
ibloom.co/ “10 Ways to Get Inspired”